Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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