# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
