Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
