Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
