haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
