So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
