He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
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