Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
