They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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