guys are not supposed to queef...right?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
