well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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