I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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