they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
