youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
