We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
