I'm laying in your front yard are you home
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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