So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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