I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
