just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
