Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
