Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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