So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
