Slut skills are useful in every country.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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