sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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