I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
