Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
