I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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