In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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