dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
