Someone shit on the floor
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Randomize
