i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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