Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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