On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
