No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I want to fling myself into the sun
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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