My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
