it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
