Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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