If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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