I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
