his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
