i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
