i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
3pm strippers are depressing
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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