you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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