We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
