So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
We had sex on a dog bed..
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
