Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Randomize
