NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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