Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
