At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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