You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
